Newspapers / The Tarborough Southerner (Tarboro, … / Oct. 22, 1885, edition 1 / Page 1
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7; MP A IfiiM 1 r 1 r ytlL. 63. BE SURE YOU AEE RIGHT ;: THEN GO AHBAD.-D Crockett. ALTEB P. WILLIAMSON Attorn ey-at-Law, TARBORO'. N. C. , next that of Col. J. L. Bridgers, oyer Jewelry store, Min street.) practicea in State and Federal Courts pRlNK PQ WELL, 7z TT0R.YE Y-.-i T LA W TA8B0B0. h " N" C" IrIxK NASH, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, TAftBORO, N. C. practices in all the Courts, BUte and Fed- j . GEORGE HOWARD, ; - -.I - : Attorney and Counselor at Law. TARBORC N. C. I tPrncticcs in all the Courts, Bute and Federal. , ""'-'J- NDREW JOYNER, A TT011NE T-A T-LA W, ' GREENVILLE, N. U. In future will regularly attend ourts of iJgecomoe. froun's may be may the Superior Otfiee io Tarboro Hous G. M. T. FOUNTAIN, iTTORNET AND COUNSEL! XR AT LAW, Tarboro, N. C, liiffl.-e '7 Insurance Office of Cant. Orrcn Williams- feb2l-6m il. A. GILLIAM. 10HBIX GnUAM I QILLIAM & SON Attorneysat-Lawf TARBORO', N. C ; "A" ii practice in the Counties of Edgecombe, T Iniilui and Pitt,' and in the Courts of the cirit JtJicial District, and in the Circuit and spteaw Courts at Kaieign. an 19-17. COMPENSATIONS. Dare lots o' things in dig 'ere n) i dan dv soem: De weeds an' graas dat crawil a. uiwjr sab ten ud de team: De rain dat spile de eotton-nel' wiUbe'p clean out do ditch. An' de oberflow cUt kills de crap will make de bottoms fcch; De nubbins in de plleo' corn will zactly suit de at a J- j uo row acrrMft na shorter dan It De oak-tree flings a shadder In de hottest sum mer noon. An' de dost dat minx ri ,vmj.u.-v.W Biumoie on de coon. De stalks o' corn dat grow too thick Is mighty pi 10 laii; Too many coon-tracks in de paf will fling you a swarm o' files kin boa da h nnn spider weaves, . An' de backer plant wont come to muoh dat spreads too many leaves: To crowd in every sort o truok may spile de oujiaay pie, t'asermoawld too many pints will! hardly wawaat uy. A little so wid lots 0' pin is in a aorrv fl An' deele hen's got to scuffle hard dat feeds 100 many chicks: 00 ae man oat's atttln' 1'arnin' ouuht to etoo wia jes enoogn. au neoer cram his head too full wid diffunt kinds o' stuff. A little horn kin make a" awful racket in de night; A minner oftentimes kin sink de cork olean out o' stent; A little grabble in your shoe may start your foot to rleln'. An' a flea dafs got a' appetite kin stir up things surpnsiu"; A narrer creek may swell iteef an' oberflow de Ian'; A bent pin in a rookin'-oheer kin 1LT a whop- pin tuau; little thread is strong enough to raise de cabin latch. An a ragged coat-tail's mighty good to hide a' Ugly patch. J AS. NORFLEET, Attorney-at-Law, TARBORO, - V C- CIRCUIT . Edgecombe, Nasb and Wil- son. Loans negotiated on reaaooabte terms. , J, L, BRIDGERS & SON, Attorneys-at-Law, TARBORO, 14 lry JJOSSEY BATTLE. Attorney at Law TARBORO, . - - - N. C. Ballet & Hart, Rocky Mount, N. C Practice in the courts of Nash. Edsecombt Wilson and Halifax cmmie. Also In the Federal and Supreme Coarta. - Tarboro office, I ap-etairs over new Howard bnUdlnar. Malu street, opp. Bank front room. apr 1 '84 D R. H. T. BASS ' Oilers his proles il services to the a ti le n 3 of Tarboro and vicinity. OQice in T. A. McNair's drug store on Main Street JK. l. N.CARK. Surgeon Dentist, TARBORO, N. C. OBleeL jaia. irom 9 a. m. 'till 1 p. m. and run. i to 6 d. m. ' i"N.ext door to Tarboro House, over Royster & Nash. 4 n U. R. W. JOYNER, SURGEON DENTIST Has nermanentlv located in Wil- eon, N. C. Al operations will be neatly and car folly performed and on terms- as reasonable .as possible. Teeth extracted with Tat pain. Office on Tarboro street, next door to Post Utlice. ' Jan-i otn L SAVAGE, A mighty rasty-lookln' dog kin taje de possum-track. An' de ha'r on top a nigger's head may kiver up a tac' Dat 'ill he'p you dodge a mud hole as you push along de way. Or lead you froo a thicket whar de safes' walk- In' lay. W put some mighty sorry things to highfalu- tln ns; Dars heaps o' frjin chiokens grabbed from orf a rotten roos'; You know muoh 'bout de pea befo' you bua' de hull. An' some handy things may float aroun' inside a woolly skuU. eorn-cob pipe kin gib you smoke an' answer mighty well: A fa6t-clae man may put up at a second -class hotel; An' a mighty solid thought may sometimes run in out de rain. An' lodge for jee' a' ebenin in a common jack- ass' brain. ' f J. A. Macon, in Century. AfleetlOB Among Animal. To preserve and safeguard their off spring many, if not most, creatures will risk and even sacrifice) their lives. The more powerful animals might naturally oe expected to do battle for their yountr. but it is surprising to find that the weak est and most timorous defy strength and forego fear on account of their progeny. Tnat beings Ticnic ii xronv.jnan.and other despots, when the preservation of self only is concerned, should diaregard personal danger,' and fight till death when the safety of their helpless offspring is concerned, is, inaeed, a marvel of na ture. From the- fragile bird to the mighty elephant, from the lowly snake to the highly organized chimpanzee, tins devoted attaclimcnt of the mother for her young w seen to exist The cold-blooded adder would scarcely be selected us an emblem of maternal love, and yet there can be 110 doubt that It has frequently lost its life whilst s ek ing to perserve the existence of ittt young- Mr. Garratt, in Ids interesting "Marvels of Instinct," gives a verj- circumstantial ac count of an instance in which a very large adder wan neeri on a bank by the roadside bruikmurm the sun. The narrator of the story ndvanced to assail the creature with his stick. On observing ldm ehe gn-ea slight his, at the same time raising her head a little and opening tier mourn.' 1 lie tuguai wan unueidcoou by her four little once, who iurtantly glided down beV thront. But her thought for her oirsunnir caused the mothers destruction, for the act delayed the adder long enough for liim to strike a train, and the snake, gorged with young. lay dead at "his feet Mr. Gairutt then removed her body into the middle of the road, to see what had become of the "insiders. He opened the snake, and the four young all came out alive. , The hedgehog, though eo shy an rarely to be seen by day, except m some very secluded spot, and usually, so timid as only to: forage fdr ite subsistence at nitrht, rolling itself up like a ball at the ap- nrnach of a human I e in fir or a dog, has J. LlVery, Sole, Exchange yet been known, upon occasions when its and Feed Stables, Cobnsh OaASvrxiLB & Si. Abdmw Strkxtb TARBORO', S C. These 8tables are the lareest in the 8tate. uud have a capacity of holdinf ten .car-loads oigiocK. uive him a can. lanioy fuTHER SHELDON, DEA.LRK IN . 1 TARBORO', N. C, THURSDAY OCTOBER 22, 1885. "GOING SNOOKS TOGETHER." rleln of tbe Term Invented Deacon De Smith, of Harlem. Young Clarence Chateaubriand .1 nnM loved pretty Miss Lulu De Smith, who resided in Harlem with her father. Clarence met Lulu's brother-in-law, Jake Snooks, and questioned him about her and the family. bnooks said: "Old Deacon De Smith is a genius. He is now . running a broad guage church. It isimple enough. He keeps the drug store, and any man who wants to oeconie a member can pay his dollar, sign bis name in the book which lies open on the counter and call himself a broad-guage member at once." "It that sor asked Clarence. Ah, my boy, it is too true, but It is glorious, lsn's itT Did you join?" queried Clarence. "Yes. It made it easv to inarrv Lulu's sister. The deacoh thinks I am a trump.B ,rv,- . . .r.v;..'1 -I.-; Clarence dressed in his neatfwt Knit and started up to Harlem, resolved to loin the broad-guage church, and there by get the deacon's consent to marry Lulu. The deacon was behind the counter dealing out chewing gum when Clarence, dropped in. Clarence looked at the book. "Want to join broad-sruae-e, eh?' said the deacon, eying hird closely. "Come down with a dollar and it will be done." The dollar was paid, and Clarence was invited into the rear of the druir store. Two men seized him, and in a second stripped him of his clothes. He was then lugged into the deacon's small garden and chucked into a little hole, and the loose dirt shovelled over Iuh body, his face only being out. He yeDed,to get out, but the attendants told him he had to remain an hour. Finally. the deacon came" out. "How do you like broad-guiisje earth batlisS he asked. Earth bathsf he yelled. "Who is taking earth baths?" ,rW hy you paid a dollar to take one," "Who said I did?" "I say so. You signed your 'name in the book. I am glad you have been con verted to broad-guage earth batlis. The minerals in the earth will do your system good," T wined your broad-guage church deacon, not this infernal punishment." "Your mind is affected. I have no broad-guage church. I call these earth batlis broad-guage because it takes a man with broad and liberal ideas to con sent to take one." 'Snooks told me it "was a broad-guage church." "Snooks is drumming for the new system, said the deacon. Then I want to go Snooks with you?" He did. This is the origin of the term "going snooks together." New York Mad. TWO PICTURES. BUILDERSHARDWARE, VAI3JTS, OILS, GLASS, 'And Builujuz Material of every description itOR is r ftinit V ARRET BQUARK 4 49 ROANOAKK AVE., NORFOLK, VA. Novemberl882. 18,1-y. WILLIAMSON,; Manufacturer of courage, in ms isaturai nuaory i,eiu relates that he once set a marmot upon a hedgehog, which was suckling her young. The hedgehog instantly raised her bristles, and at the same time pointing her snout to the ground, approached the marmot She attacked him front ana rear oy alternately wounding nun with her bristles and biting him witn ner teetn, as the same time snorting with a noise like the beating of a drum. Occasionally sua would seize Hold of her adversary ana crag it into another corner of the room; and Lenx soon saw that the only means of saving the marmot's life was td take it eut of reach of the iniunatea motner. Tbe Clocks Do. a Rinirhainton counle stood before a Court street jeweler's the other evening, the roung lady remarked: "Gawgie, dont you tmnit mere u something perfectly lovely about those docka? " what do you admire so much about them ?" he asked. 'Why, don't you see, they mey name the day." The future will tell 11 uawgie . . Opposite H, Mobbis & Bbos., A Present for Him, " I guess you're going to get a present Mr. Featherly," said iJODDy. "Yes?" queried Featherly pieasanuy. "From whom T "From sister." "Do you know what it is?" " I'm not sure, but, after . you left last night they were talking about you, and sister said something abont the difficulty of making a silk purse out of a sow s ear, so I suppose it s goin to be a purse. The Wages of Sin. Mntt Street Sunday-School Teacher (to Ah Sin, the laundryman) What are the wages of am t Ah m sevenry-iivc No checks, no washee. A yonng lady, newly married, being obliged to show her husband all the let ters she wrote, sent the following to a friend. -The kev is to read -the-first and then every alternate line only : I cannot be satisfied, my dearest friend i bleat as I am in the matrimonial state. unless I pour Into your friendly bosom, which has ever been in unison with mine, the various sensations which swell with the liveliest emotions of pleasure, my almost bursting heart. I tell you my dear husband Is the most amiable of men. I have now been married seven weeks, and have never found the least reason to repent the day that Joined us. My husband is both In person and manner for lrom resem bling , an ugly, cross, old and diHagreenbk' man. An ancient maiden aunt, near 70, cheerful, venerable and pleasant old lady. lives in the house with U9 ; she is the de light of both young and old ; she is ci vil to all the neighborhood round, generous and charitable to the xxr. I am convinced my husband loves nothing more than he does me ; he flatters me more than a glass ; and his Intoxication (for so must I call the excess of his love). Often makes me blush for the unworthlness of its object, and I wish I could' be more de serving of the man whose name I bear. To say all in one word, my dear, and to crown the whole my former gallant lover is now my Indulgent husband ; my husband is returned, and I might have had prinoe without the felicity I find In him. Adieu 1 may you be blest as I am un able to wish than I could be more happy." Vivacious GIH. Good Cheer says there are two kmds of vivacious girls. She of mock vivacity laughs at everything, no matter how trivial, and says: "Oh, how funny you are!" at every remark she hears. She can swim, and ride, and play lawn-tennisj all of which accomplishments, in the face of her tightly laced waist, nil one with a real . admiration for her prowess, in spite of her odious manners. She is always trying to say something witty; is ad dicted to the punning habit; tau or learning to box; is so glad "girls nowadays have some spirit as much as to say; "You see before you a complete specimen of the admirable creature I describe , and is' generally loud, slangy, and egotistical The genuinely vivacious girl is as sweet as a rose, and as restful, after the other sort passes, as a rainbow after a tearing rainstorm. There are indications that her sort is going to be fashionable again. Let us hope so. Fairy Screws. Fifty cents' worth of steel is made into 100,000 screws by the machinery employed in American watch manufac ture. What seems to be a little heap of the mere dust of the machine from which they fall, when examined with a microscope, is found to consist of per feet screws, each accurately threaded and slotted ready to be driven to its place with a lilliputian screw-driver. The 50 cents' worth of steel has acquired a value of flL Stearins Clear of Sin. Milkman Johnnv. did vou put water ri the milk this morning? New Assistant Yes, sir. " Don't you know that is wicked, John nv?" " . ... . . ...Si,. " But you tola me to mix water witu the milk." " Yes, but I told you to put the water In first and ixnir the milk into it. men, you see, we can tell people we never put water in our nunc THE BROKER'S CLERK. Ii He might Have stolen One Hundred Thousand Dollar. A banker told Earl D. Berry, wall street reporter of the New York Times, the following : "I can tell you a true story of a young broker's clerk, who, from deliberate honesty, threw away an opportunity to steal $100,000, when he knew that he would never be detected. When George L Seney was speculating heavily in. rail road securities;, he had a large amount of bonds hypothecated with a nrst-class Wall street firm. The bonds bore inter est paying coupons, and under terms pf the hypothecation Mr. SeneyB clerk was to have access to them every six months for the purpose of clipping the coupons. The clerk was known to the broker's firm. One day when he dropped in to cut off some coupons the hypothecated securities were handed to hkn,and18 wasjeft in one compartment lot 'the of fice. The firm, of coarse, retailed' lii its possession a list of all the' hypoth ecated securities, which it was accus-' tomed to compare with the securities re turned by the clerk. On this particular occasion the clerk found enfolded in Mr. Seney's package other good negotiable Ixmds of the value of 100,000. They had evidently got mixed up with Mr. Seney's securities through 6ne of those unexplainable mistakes that happen very rarely in brokers' offices. '"The clerk cut off the coupons that he had come after and restored the package of securities to a representative of the firm. The extra $100,000 of bonds had been slipped into the clerk's pocket Mr, Seney's securities were compared one by one with the check list and found to be all right "Is everything there 1" asked the clerk. " 'Oh, yes," said the broker, as he pre pared to put away the box. 'Everything U as straight as a string.' " 'You are sure that there were no oth er Iw'iils in that IkjxT' " 'Perfectly,' answered the broker with a confident air. We never get things mixed here.' " 'Well, how about this $100,000 of bonds ? asked the clerk, drawing the extra securities from his pocket The broker recognized them instantly and mentioned the name of the person to whom they belonged. His astonishment knew no bounds when the . clerk told him where the Ixinds had been found. The broker said that he would have swofn in court that those identical bonds were in a certain place in his private Bale. The cierk was aked to accept $100 ns a souvenir of the occasion, but lie declined. "That fellow will get away with a mil lion yet," said the brisk, natty banker, as he put on his hat and started for the car. " Where Iznoranrels Bllsa," Btc, - Uncle l'aul was a fine type of the old-school Pennsylvania German, and, having amoased a competence by econo my and thrift was content to settle down in his pleasant home -on the outekirU of the village to spend his remaining years in peace tend comfort. It mr eem narfuiviE:-i v cuul enjoyed a funeral above all things, bot it was a fact, and he was always on nana at every obsequies within a certain ra dius of his home. .No procession was so humble but tW the good old Ger- nan's old-fashioned roomy carriage and team and Krys occupied a prominent lace in it But to have charge of a funeral was to Uncle Paul the acme of dignity and responsibility, and it was wlien acting in this capacity upon a cer tain occasion that the services being over, he wished to give all present a last look at the remains. So, stationing limself at the head of the coffin he reclaimed: "De diseased frients may now view ae conise. . The Lady Clerks In Washlnxton. "She isa nice looking girl, a very nice looking girl" and the speaker threw his head on one aide and assumed the grave ty reflective air of a connoisseur. She wore a dainty summer drees, and looked as f enunine and sweet as a young, happy girl can look. There are a good many pretty girls employed in this departmen," we ob served. "Yes, there are," was the rather brief answer, "I Suppose they all marry and leave rou? T "Indeed they don't" replied the watch twu . 1t is very seldom any of them get irtairied." hyv how is that T ' think that while a great many la dip in the departments do not desire to BU'T.'onless they an better their con--ffSL still it may be laid down as a sren- rHlcipUj that they are apt to loose tltf';Sirrtiv'i)ess (n the eyes of men. Their constant assoctotion with men every day, their occupation, which is not, strictly speaking, feminine, causes them to lose that feminine grace and charm winch. Is so intangible that It is felt rather than expressed Men are attract ed to women because they are So differ ent It is what we mean when we speak of a womanly woman, and if it is those qualities of mind and heart that find their best development in the domestic ity of a happy home. Women are not apt to lose the delicacy and charm of their nature when tlirown in daily con tact with men, and they are apt to become masculine. I don't think that men are attracted by wishy-washy women and pretty doll faces, and that in order to be womanly it is necessary to be impractical and silly. But still, I imagine that most men, and the best men, hke feminine women ; and, while it is not always the case, still I think that the majority of women In the departments gradually lose this quality of their nature." Washing ton Star. t A Buiian Story. Among the wealthiest bankers of Rus sia are the noble members of the house of Schalouchine. A couple of genera tions ago their anoestor was a eerf.owned by one Count Scheremetef. By dint of great industry this serf, as Life (London) relates, amassed an enormous fortune. All his efforts to purcliase his freedom, however, were of no avail, and offers as high as $250,000 were scornfully rejected by his master, who seemed aotually to enjoy the torture he inflicted on his mil lionaire slave, who could neither be queath his fortune to his children nor otherwise benefit them without the con sent of his lord It happened one day that the Count had invited several friends to a dinner party, and when his maitre d' hotel laid before him the menu for inspection he was aghast to find that oysters did not figure: among the hors d'oeuvres. In answer to his indignant remonstrances, that functionary assured him that oysters were not to be had for any price. At the heighth of the angry discussion, which was continued even in The Writing on tbe Wall. "The maddest man I ever see was on my post last night said a policeman doing duty on the Bowery to a New Yorr Herald reporter. "He was the most all fired, rip-tearin' loon that ever was loose. He cussed till all the lamps around here burned blue, and you could smell sulphur from the Cooper Union to Chatham square. What started him? He! he! He started himself. It was -his own private and exclusive racket, and no one was to blame. That's what made it the harder for him when he saw the dirty . facing his new fall overcoat had got and looked down at the paint that had gormed all his cutaway and low-neck vest" "Who was he?" "Oh, a tailor on the Bowery. There's a lot of 'em strung out there, you know, and they aon t like one another pretty welL Well, this feller, who's a kind of a gallus duck, was out - last night to a party, and come along pretty late and feeling pretty good. All of a sudden he fetehedrp fa front-. another tailor's shop an opposition line, you know, and got - looking up above the doorway. There was a white card passed up there. and the feller, once he sot eyes on it, says to himself: Hal hat Maype dot C hay cobs has Boom drubles got Chimminny, maype dot fellow has himself croaked. Led me see. "He went up to the door. But it was dark there and the sign was a good ways up There wasn't a word on it he could make out. But the chance of old Jacobs being out of the way wouldn't let him go. So he shoved one hand against the wall to steady himself, put one hoof on the knob and squirmed up by the door. Down he came before he reached the card, but he was up again soon and spelling out the writing for all he was wortli, x ou bet it made him sick." "What was it, death in the family?" .Not much. "What then?" "Fresh paint!" About to Move. "I understand you have gone into Wall street" said Jenkins, accosting his mend, Veryfly, at the club. Y e cs, said Veryfly, sently out of the window, move." 'How is that?" ' Ah well- I business may compel me to move in another locality, said Verifly. " Indeed ! W hat street ? " "Ludlow street" Uncomfortable silence on both sides. gazing ab- "Butl may clent a dozen. TARBORO, The right word is always a power, a .nmrnnnfoaieB its beiiutness to JV. 0. 1 oar action. Arrested alter 32 Years. Parts. Tex.. Oct. 4. John Alex chnrred with murder in this county thirty-two years ago, and who was recently arrested ra ArnaDbas arrived here veeterdry in charge officers. Alexander's father, who was the rjrinciDal in the killing, was sent . . .. . ,.!!. to the penitentiary ior me nve years ago and died there. 'I ne AValcr of Lake Geneva. According to Prof. Tyndall's investi gations, the singularly blue color of the water of the lake of Geneva is due to the presence of small mineral particles, probably derived from glacier dust, rought into the lake by drainage from glacier streams, and of such extreme minuteness a not to settle even when the water is not allowed to stand for a long time. Examination also makes ap parent the fact that not only is the light mainly blue from the flrstnoment of its reflection from the minute particles, but the lees refrangible elements which al ways accompany the blue are still fur ther abstracted during the transmission of the scattered light by true molecular absorption. These two causeB, scattering and absorption, are therefore considered sufficient to account satisfactorily for the exceptional blueness of both the Lake of Geneva and the Mediterranean Sea. itilllocker. Millocker, the composer of the " Beg gar Student" is reserved in regard to his methods of composing. 1 he famous waltz in the "Beggar Student" occurred to him while t taking a walk. Millocker is the youngest of the Viennese operetta composers, being only 4d years of age. Suppe was the first to discover his talent, and secured him a place as conductor at the Thalia Theatre at Graz. From 188 to 1883 he occupied a similar position at a Vienna Theatre, for which he wrote incidental music for no fewer than sev enty farces and burlesques. He has written eicht oierettas. His favorite composer is Mozart Where Most of it Goes. " James, I am sorry you do not take my advice." "Why, father, I do." "You don't seem to use it, then." "I do the neVt best thing." " And what is that ? " "I give it to some other fellow who needs it as badly as I do." The liarly lilrU Catchri On. "So, Mrs. Yamspinner, you are left a widow?" " "Ye-ye-yes, boo-hoo-o-o-o. "There, there, don't cry, That won't bring him back." ' "I know it, but it will excite sympathy and help me to get another." Where the Cow Falls. An agricultural authority says that 100 hens well cared for will yield more net profit than four good cows. We don't know much about fanning, but we should think that 100 hens would lay more eggs than -four good cows, even if the xowls were not very well cared for. It is said that that Mrs. Sartoris, daughter of General Grant has been very unhappy in her married life on account of her husband's neglect and unkindDess ever Bincethey were mar ried, and that she will remain in this country until she gets a divorce from him which will be applied for a3 soon as she has acquired a legal residence hrre. was announced, and in order to vent his wrath on the unfortunate serf, the Count shouted out: "Show the slave m. What do you want, dog? If yon want your freedom, 1 ten you 1 will never grant it. 1 care not lor any oner vou may make no, not for a million ru bles. A few dozen oysters at this mo ment would be worth more to me." "Do I understand, my lord," asked the serf, "that you would grant me my freedom if I procure them for you?" " Yes," re plied the Count much to the amusement of his guests. As it happened Scha louchine had brought a barrel of oysters with him as a gift to his master, knowing of the great dinner party. , They were brought m; the deed of freedom was immediately signed; and the Count, ad dressing his former slave with the utmost courtesy, said: "Sir, may I invite you to join us?" M According to Cashing." He had never presided over a delibera tive assembly, but he knew what he wanted (which is the main thing for the chairman of a meeting to know), and he said : " Twenty-five gentlemen have voted yes and forty gentlemen have voted no, and the motion is carried." " How do you make that out ? " shouted several voices. " Why," said the chair man, you go according to Cushmg, don't vou ? " The disgruntled ones had to admit that they did. "Well, then,' continued the parliamentary neophyte, '" doesn't he say that two negatives are equivalent to one affirmative? Which is the same thing as saying that one affirmative is equivalent to two nega tives?" There was a tendenoy to doubt thatCushing contained any such rule until one old gentleman, who had voted in the negative, said: "Ifs no use, fellers: we're beaten; I've heard thas rule ever since I was a youngster." Take Tour ltfe Preserver Along. Sea water has been converted into a beverage. A little citric acid or citrate of silver is precipitated, and a harmless mineral water is produced. , An ounce of citrate renders a half-pint of water drinkable. . Seven ounces would furnish a shipwrecked man with water for week. The question is how to secure the citrate to the shipwrecked man. It is recommended that those who go to sea carry with them a bottle of citrate pro tected by an India, rubber covering, or that such bottles should be furnished in life preservers. In the latter case, how ever, the people about to be shipwrecked must not leave the life preservers be hind,.. If, with presence of mind, they remember to take them, all the agonies of thirst portrayed in nautical stories may remain unrealized fiction. It Jnst Occurred to Him. "Is this the last train north?" asked a stout little gentleman, rushing Into a railway station. "No. there is another in forty-five minutes. AU aboard I" shouted the con ductor. --"Almost an hour to wait f sighed the little man. dropping into a seat and mopping his brow with his handker chief. "But you have plenty of time to catch this tram, said the conductor. "This train ? WelL I'm blamed : of J course I have. I'm so used to catching the last train whoop ! hold on r and the little gentleman bolted through the door for the cars. Monsieur Itlellnf que' Deportment Monsieur Melinique lost his daughter the other day. An American friend met him on Broadway after the funeral and said : ' I saw you at the house during the sad services. 'Qui, and how does monsieur think I deported myself on ze occasion?" Oh, admirably. 11. ..S - tf. 1 . o - saw in e at ze house. 1 ou should nave seen me at ze grave. I raised !" An Original Practical Joke. In the south of France Dr. Estachy tried to dispose of his rival, Dr. Tourna- toire, by sending hmi some game dosed with belladonna. When discovered he said that it was only a little practical joke, but the Judge did not view the matter in a humorous light, and locked the Doctor up on a charge of attempts ing murder. -The wife and a servant of his intended victim nearly died from the effects of the poison. Got the Information He Sought. "Tommy, - did you ever hear your sister Clarinda speak of me?" "Yeth, thir." "What did she say?" "She thed you ought to marry the fat girl in the mutheum, thir." 'THd she say why.' "Yeth, thir, she thed you wath tho roundthouldered you could kith her bully." Why the Engagement Was Broken. "And, dearest Augustus, when we are married you will give me all the pin money I want won't you, darling?" , Ttes, duckie, you shall buy all the puis you can use. XJh, deary, tliats so nice of you. There's a beautiful diamond pin down at the jeweler s that I vc wanted for ever so long." A Touching Train Story. On the Chicago express from Omaha were two conspicuous passengers. One was a rather twrtly, apparently well-to- do gentleman, and the other was an hv fant of tender age. They were ntH traveling in company, however, and were, in fact, total strangers. But both seemed sad. Tbe gentleman sat most of the time with his forehead resting between his thumb and lingers. He oc casionally tried to read, but the magazine seemed to have no interest for him. Not a word escaped his lips, and Ids thought seemed far away. As for the baby, her woe was not so silently ex pressed. Her voice was quite loud in proportion to her size, and she lifted it on high. The other passengers cast re proachful glances at the poor, tired mother, who did her best to comfort the bairn, and at the same time take care of two other little ones, and muttered un speakable things to themselves so that the little woman could understand even if she could cot hear.....;. Soon the gentleman's eyes were fixed upon the infant. Ue seemed attracted where others were repelled. As some of the passengers sought seclusion in the smoking saloon he walked up to the baby and held out his arms. In another sec ond he held the little one close to his face. His embrace seemed to have that tenderness which influences even a baby. His fine whiskers were fair playtliings for the tiny hands. His cravat w-as pull ed awry in the romp. Ere long his eye glasses lud baby's blue eyes. And in half an hour she wjis sitting upon his Lip biting at his gold watch, which he held within her reach. Both gentleman and baby now seemed happier. He smiled at the mite's antics, and the mite had long since ceased her wailing. Hour after hour passed and the strange pair were still together. The mother could not keep her child more than ten minutes at a time. The big gentleman was always eager to have the little form again in his embrace. If baby slept her admirer watched her fondly, and hailed her waking as a joy. The hours of an autumn dny are long alxjtrd a railway enr, but the devotion of baby's attendant did not tin. He was her in seperable companion, and he seemed never so happy as when the little white arms were alxut his neck and the little soft face was pressed against his lips. "You are so fond of children," said the mother, " that I judge you have babies of your own." "Yes, I have," the gentleman replied, a cloud coming upon his face; "I have one a little babe like this. I am hasten ing home to see her, as she is she is this telegram will show you." And as the mother read : " Come home immediately your'child is dying," the gentleman's eyes were liid from view against baby's cheek. NO, 43 AYER'S Sarsaparilla Is a highly concentrated extract of Sarsaparilla and other blood-pnrlfylns; roots, combined with Iodide of I'otas Biuin and Iron, and is the safest, most reli able, and most economical btood-nurittor that can bo uacd. It Invariably cxiuls all blood poisons from the system, eiriches and renews the blood, and restores its vitalizing power. It is .the best known remedy for Scrofula and all Scrofulous Complaints, Erysip elas, Eczema, Kingwnnii, IM.iWii' H, Sores, lioils. Tumors and Krt .-lion of the Skin, as alo fur all uiftoitLrs caused ty a thin and impoverished,' or corrupted, condition of tlij blood, such as Kheuinatism, Neuralgia, Rheumatic Gout, General Debility, and Scrofulous Catarrh. . Ifltaatoij Rheumatlssi Cured. , 5 '. "Avirtl's VAsaAraaiLM,' has. cured me , of the Inflammatory ItneuiiwUiknl. rttli Which I have auifercd for nmny v-ir-t. , , W. U. . Durham, la., March 2, 1S82. FREPABKD BY Dp. J. C. Ayer &. Co., Lowell, iViasa. Sold by all Druggists ; SI, six bottles for WS. ANEW AND VALAUBLE DEVICE. Patont Water Closet Sea: -TOR TH1 CUKE OF HEMORRHOIDS, Commonly Called Files. INTERNAL OR EXTERNAL PEOLAP STJS AI. NO MEDECINE OR SURGICAL OPERA TION NECESSARY, to Not Entirely Unencumbered. Friend X. I hear you are going marry Miss Smith, the heiress, Ous ? Gus ies, next week. Shes a dear girt Friend I congratulate yon, old boy. Fine property, eh f Any encumbrances ? Gus Lr-none but Miss Smith. -' Trade Pay. A Worcester County woman whose husband is a dentist engaged a man to saw wood for her, and when the job was done told him she hadn't got any change, but the doctor would tuu a tooth for him for nothing some time. A FEAfHEBED FLIGHT. Parrots that sing are rare, but occa sionally specimens are found which sing several tunes. The fanciers of phenom enal pets are always willing to pay big prices for such birds. There is ope bird which is too active and aggressive for the sparrow. The beautiful humming-bird, honey-fed and iridescent of plumage, is able to drive the English bird and make it chirp for quarter every time. A tame crow belonging to a Maryland farmer is as wise as the jackdaw of Rheims. It entered a room unobserved, tore up a novel lying on a table, opened a copy of the Bible, as if to inculcate the wisdom and value of that work, and ended its day's labor by stealing a watch and hiding it in a hayloft There is a bird in southwestern Texas known as the sobbing wTen. Its note begins in a high silvery key, descending from one sweet note : to another, each more delightfully clear than the other, until it bursts into a sobbing cry, ending in a gasp like that of a suffering child. The effect of this strange song is start ling and distressing as it is borne on the early morning air or at twilight 1 he bird is small, with plump brown breast speckled with shreds of black. French Stutistlce. The number of adult unmarried per sons in France is constantly increasing. In recent statistics presented to the Aeademie de Medicine it appears tliat In 224 per 1,000 inhabitants. The average age at which trench people marry as high, being 28 1-2 years for men ana 25 for women. U nmarriea men are more numerous hi the frontier departments, and women in those of the centre of France. Large cities promote celibacy Crimes, deaths from diseases and sui cides are prowrtionatelv larger in the unmarried ortion of the imputation. ir Tranlntcd From the French. " Show me your license, if you plea.-se, sir," said a French gamekeeper to a poacher. I m not hunting game, my friend, said the poacher : I'm only looking for my wife, who ha run away into the woods with a young fellow, a neighbor of mine. When I hnd her 1 11 shoot her, and the fellow too." " That alters the case," said the game keeper, with a grin ; " but before you go any further show me your marriage cer tificate." An Knglish Notion. Yankee accent and inflection have come into fashion among the London aristocrats. It is a freak thatmay and may not last An acquaintance of Lord Dunraven attributes to him the Ameri canized talk of Ids particular set and the Marquis of Lome and Earl Durferin, aid ed by their wives, are supposed to have taken back from Canada an American manner of utterance. These examples could not fail to be potent in London, and the novelty seems to have proved captivating. Women In tbe Magazines. Less than one-fourth of our magazine writers are women, a result which will probably cause some surprise ; that is, of our first-class magazines for grown people ; It is probable that to mclude children s magazines would vary tne figures. The proportion of women writ ers is greatest m tne Atlantic monthly. where sixteen of the fifty-one authors are women ; it is least in the Century which has only eleven women out of seventy-six. No Codfish Ball for Him. Now behold there came to a chap in a Nevada restaurant a waiter bearing a platter laden with codfish bolls. And the waiter placed one on the Nevada chap's plate. By and by when the wai ter returned the Nevada chap remarked, " I respectfully but firmly decline this fish ball" "May I ask why?" inquired the waiter. "Well," explaimed the Ne vada chap, it tastes as 11 there wag something dean m ix." He had Another Brand. "Have you 'The Uise of Silas Lap? ham r asked a young lady from Chica go of the clerk in a country store where they kept .almost everything. " I dunno whether we've got any of that peticular brand, but we've got some all-fired good rice, jest the same." c ; - A Canine Matrimonial Ad. 'Tbe v following advertisement, which, I fake it, is unique, appeared recently in a weekly journal, under the head of ''The Kennel, the ad vertiser being a lady : Wanted, a husband at once, for a daughter cf Champion Sooty; hoi must be prize-bred, and -in London. Terms, a puppy. -,1'r:-.; : . - ' . ' the the If Do not examine too minutely actions of your friends, nor motiyes which actuated them. they have acted with a want of delica ev. artnear not to understand it; or, what is more simple, think that was a mistake on their part. Good children are the hardest crop to raise: it takes a kind home and two steady heads. Baroque JST JI Wlllnnrlfrthe BLOOD late the LIVER am! THE SAMSON JACK & PRESS CO., 'BLACK RIVER, N. V. MunDfacturaa of Hand Power PRESSES Of E,ry to- crtptlaa. Suitable for BAILLNQ HlDSfl, BAT, Ri-M, WOOL, 1 Ear, HOP, COTTOa, and nuicaa ALw for PRESSING TukACCO, bur k(Xj3, d;:iei recrr. laki, on - WISE, CIDIS Also Haa'ftrs of XallmU Iron Waxon Jacks. Sand tot Ca. a!ogn , rctrw I KIDNEYS. and ItESTOiiK THE HXALTH and VIGOR of YOUTH. Dys pepsia, Want of Appetite, In. lid Tired Feeling absolutely enred. Hones, muscles and nerves receive newrorce. Knlivens tlie mind and I i ft I EST 45 SiilT.-rliije trom complaints Eac m? S Em V9 peculiar to their sex wlU Bnd In DR. HARTEifS IRON T0NI0 a fafe and speeilv cure, (lives a cleur, he.iltliy complexion. r rciK-iil attempts hi couiucrieiiinjr oiuy ami to tke popularity r the original. lo mt experi ment Ket the Oi:li:IN AL AND 11K8T. (Send -nurnflure9to l nJT. Hurler meaA o.m St. I o.ils. Mo., for oar "BREAM BOOK." B Full of strange uud useful lnformaUoa, ttvmw RESUMED. I have Invented a 8IMPLE WATER CLOSET SEAT, for the cure of the above troublesome and painful malady, which I confidently place before the public as a Sure Relief and Cubs It has received the endorsement of tbe leading physicians in this community, and wherever tried, has given entire satisfaction, and where It fails to relieve the money will be willingly returned. Thes Seats will be f urnisled at the follow ing prices : Walnnrt,,.,rt.tg.001 mccuuuv 10 rmsirians Poplar 5.00) Directions for using will accompany each Seat. We trouble you with no certificate!. We leave the Seat to be its advertiser. Address, LEWIS CHAMBEKLAIN, Patentee Tarboro, Edgecombe Co.. N. C. jc38-ly :o: We take pleasure in announcing to onr numerous patrons and friends that we have now recovered from the disarrangemant to our business caused by the recent fire, and have now resumed at the below named lo cation, where we trust to meet all of our former customers. :0: SUM I ZOELLER PHAKMACISTS AND DRUGGIST AT THE WEDDELL BOOK QTORE. Oppos'te the BliYAN HOCrJE and edjohi ing the POST OfFCE. BURNHAM'S IMPROVED STANDARD TURBINE- Ts he Best constructed and finished Turbine in the world. It trives better per- mtage with part or full ate, and U eold for Lest Money per rlorse rower than any other TUBBLNg f amulet JTree oy sou BURNHAM BROS., YORK PA II. A I 6r- . :LJ it .. f - P "t t -i- - . . ii .1 n 11 t ti f 'f .X
The Tarborough Southerner (Tarboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Oct. 22, 1885, edition 1
1
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